This entry is the operational handbook for confirmed Red Shirts — the parade-escort corps known, on its better days, by the catchphrase “Because Logistics Shouldn’t Require a Degree in Astromechanics.” The recruitment-side context, perks, and sign-up flow live in the public Red Shirt Rebellion entry; what follows here assumes the reader has already enlisted and is preparing for parade day.
The Droid Collar is the wristband that grants entry into the Chewbacchanal after-party. No collar = no entry = sadness. Distribution depends on rank:
If a Free-Range Red Shirt attends a public Droid Collar distribution event, they receive a t-shirt only — no Droid Collar. To receive their Droid Collar, Free-Range Red Shirts must return their vest and wand (if assigned) at the end of the parade.
There are no replacements for lost Droid Collars; they should be guarded like the last Porg on Ahch-To. All members must wear their Droid Collar visibly during the parade, except Free-Range Red Shirts and Nerd Herders, whose vest serves as their Droid Collar. Anyone without a visible Droid Collar during the parade will be asked to leave. This is not optional or negotiable.
All Red Shirts wear their official Red Shirt t-shirt during the parade. Exception: Free-Range Red Shirts and Nerd Herders may wear a Star Trek: The Original Series uniform shirt or dress they purchased themselves, but the Red Shirt vest is still required over it.
The Krewe runs three Droid Collar distribution events in the weeks leading up to parade day. Specific venues, dates, and times are announced each year through the membership channels — typically a string of weeknight evenings at New Orleans bars and brewpubs, where members collect their Droid Collars in roughly the time it takes to drink one beer.
Immediately following the third Droid Collar distribution event, the Red Shirt Rebellion hosts a Training & Q&A session for SubKrewe Captains, SubKrewe-Specific Red Shirts, Free-Range Red Shirts, Nerd Herders, and anyone wanting clarification on parade-day operations. The session covers parade-day expectations, safety procedures, communication chain, gear responsibilities, lineup flow, and what to do when things get weird (because they will).
Important: this session is not a Droid Collar pickup event. No t-shirts, wands, vests, or Droid Collars are distributed at the training.
Two tents operate on parade day at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church Parking Lot (corner of Franklin & Burgundy), 4:00–6:00 PM with a hard stop.
Captains (or their designated representative) may pick up only for their SubKrewe-Specific Red Shirts:
Captains may not pick up gear for Free-Range Red Shirts or Nerd Herders. Captains are strongly encouraged to collect t-shirt sizes from their Red Shirts before pickup so items can be pre-bagged and check-in flows faster; sizes should be emailed to chewbacchusredshirts@gmail.com.
Gear is returned at the entrance of the Contraption Parking Lot, by Bar2D2.
Failure to return gear may result in no Droid Collar, a replacement fee, and a quantity of silent judgement that the Krewe declines to put a number on.
All Red Shirts, regardless of rank, are expected to assist with:
St. Paul’s Lutheran Church Parking Lot, 4:00–6:00 PM (hard stop). Specific arrival expectations:
The parade rolls at 7 PM.
Music must be loud enough to party, quiet enough to hear a Red Shirt or Captain yell STOP! The exact volume threshold has, over the years, refused to be reduced to a number; Red Shirts use judgement.
Bring:
If anything goes wrong during the parade, find the nearest Zone LT, Red Shirt Captain, Nerd Herder Captain, or First Responder. They have radios. The reader does not.